came across a couple of ads/calls of late (and they somehow all fell within my rather intense past weekend of work) after the deadlines; nothing like possibilities extinguished due to no fault of your own that leaves you wistfully daydreaming.
there's so many things i wanna do and even more that i wish i was good at. all the time, i wish that there was something i was simply spectacular at, a saving grace whose word leaps ahead of me and lays out the carpet for my (as i will be then, as only successful people can pull off with aplomb) humble yet bashfully proud self. but mostly it's in the audience that i stand, clapping in a mixture of politeness, admiration and jealousy, only able to appreciate and not create. maybe that's my role, to ooh and aah and to be a consumer- and that makes me sad.
i would very much like to be you- you there in your hipster frames, your portfolio in your arms and beaten up i really don't care i spent all day at the studio shoes at your feet. to wear your passion on your sleeve and immerse yourself in the fine things in life.
and that's when i think:
- am i in the right place
- why do my talents not shine like diamonds among carbon dust (lol)