was hanging out with le Gary Chan when i decided to check fb and consequently discovered a new thoughtcatalog article entitled It's Ok To Care More which made me feel like blogging which led to switching on the computer and then lots of internet surfing and no more gary chan and possibly no more sleeping early and this my friends, is why it is bad to even try to study.

i kid :B

about the sleeping early part because i am really tired from sleeping when people wake up these days.

i kid again :B

anyhoo:

Don’t be afraid to put too much of yourself into something and get hurt. Don’t be afraid to be the one who cares more. Don’t be afraid to be your loving, thin-skinned self. I recently heard an adage that advised people always to be the “crazy” one in a relationship, which I disagreed with because it’s weird and able-ist. Instead, I think if we want to find love, fulfillment and happiness, we need to stop caring what people think and care about being true to ourselves and validating our real emotions. Because if someone doesn’t like you for that, what’s the point? 
Read more at http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/its-ok-to-be-the-one-who-cares-more/#DcvlpyzSmWhdmhgO.99

long time readers (ok fine long time friends because only friends know this space- hi guys) will know that for the longest time i've held strongly to the belief that feelings ought to be reciprocal and not just but also equal and reading the above paragraph along with the rest of the article just made me feel cynical (ok only because this rhymes). and also made me think back on what was the precise moment that made me think the way i think about human relationships.

i remember points in my life when i would just give without hesitating, putting myself out there in the hope of a silver of response that would validate my actions and leave me floating. here's the truth: that being available all the time never works, that if you really want the affections of someone you have got to appear the opposite. in the mean time, expect nothing and then you'd always be pleasantly surprised, or even happy. 

to give that a measure of balance, of course everything is a give and take. just not too much of.. either. think it was a jodi picoult novel (lol) that planted the principle in my head.

this is the point where i sifted through my archives and tried to search for the relevant paragraph. only to discover that there was no quote only extremely vague references (some things never change) along with an acknowledgement that i was being super vague. secondary 3 me was so adorbz. :`)

would really like to blog more but i am so so so so so so so so tired

so so so so so tired

so tired

but side note: had a really great day today with mah chongz for moar info plz read this
http://chongdescending.wordpress.com/2012/09/25/i-feel-like-rapping/
(hai ningqian lets do lift pranks i volunteer to sob hysterically and you can fall on the floor)
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