let me tell you what is the easiest. not thinking, not listening to music. filling up your days with groups after groups of people. talking about everything except what haunts you. smile awkwardly and handle questions in what you think feels like an even and neutral tone. change the subject.

let me tell you what is the hardest. waking up in the morning with a gaping hole and crippling realisations. cracking during a family dinner. sad songs. photographs. letters.

and what helps. late night conversations. laughing. friends saying they'd be there.

excuse me, but there are questions to be pondered upon, thoughts to be thought and beds to be slept on.

to move back, or move on? ...