i think i've built my ideals so strongly and attached such significance to them, that it baffles me why would anyone choose to be anything else, or want anyone who is not like that. if i were a guy, i'd want a girl who was strong, opinionated, smart, fun and witty. and then it disappoints me when i find out that some prefer the archetype of the girly girl, the lithe innocent damsel in distress who giggles instead of laughs, has perfect posture and has boys falling at their feet. 

but ultimately, i guess nothing is wrong with that, to each his own and everything. maybe i'm too judgemental. or maybe it's a tinge of jealousy and resentment that that will never be me. i'm neither musically nor athletically inclined and  i can't dance nor flirt to save my life. i can be seriously awkward, i like to dwell in geeky moments, do unglamorous things on/off camera and i would sometimes rather chew off my own arm than admit that i'm wrong. there are occasions where i wish i could be more like that instead of like this and be the kind of girl that boys like, but really, most of the time i'm deeply unapologetic.

anyway, flying off to aussie tmrw! rather wednesday, 2 am in the morning. EPIC ADVENTURE. I AM READY. except that i have neither packed nor changed my money. ahem.

currently in the state of limbo between university starting and high school ending.... though i guess we all knew that months ago. feeling like.... i belong neither here nor there.

can't wait to escape the summer heat already -sweats-







...