xxkill

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revelations of a certain degree

Tuesday, May 10, 2011 8:05 PM

i know i take things too personally. but still.

it doesnt matter if i dont want it anymore, doesnt matter if i thought i was stupid for wanting it in the first place. i still take it upon myself as a personal failure, maybe because i found myself trying. trying to grab hold of slippery threads that were half fading anyway. trying, its such a pathetic looking word that just teems of unreciprocated over-enthusiasm.

i think i can see where some people's motivation come from. it comes from thinking "what is it that i dont have" and this translates into a quiet rage that makes you want to be better in every way. i like this. i think it's useful and i'd keep it.

so suck that

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