i think of it as saturday night.

here are the things i miss:

1. gobbling up fiction without feeling guilty about procrastinating

2. having lunch/general slacking at jp with friends

3. not having to do fact sheets and daily articles

4. not having a backlog of fact sheets and articles

5. feeling close to people

how do people get by? i hear rocket fuel coursing through their veins and envision minutes used to the maximum. i unwittingly come across self-written phrases of encouragement and self motivation as i float in the flotsam of my procrastination. get the metaphor?

amidst all the strength and determination, i feel lonelier and lonelier.

i like to pit myself against the world and feel victimized, wry and alone in the way that i desperately wish could pass off as being special. perhaps we all have demons that we all try hard to suppress in the night as we frantically grab on to the written word that will save us. i would never know.