xxkill

today while i was bathing, my mom was complaining from the kitchen about "WHO ATE ALL THE ICE CREAM?!?!" i then pretended that the noise of the shower suddenly got really loud and left my dad&bro to fend for themselves. obviously, i polished off most of the haegan daz ice cream at home, who can resist rum&raisin and dark chocolate orange? let's just say it's never a good thing to find me home early and binging on ice cream, the amount i eat is directly proportional to how bad my mood is.

in fact, i'm absolutely swamped by homework and i really should be starting on the 50+ pgs of history notes/doing my math tutorial/writing my GP reflection, yet in reality im doing none of the above. the scarcity of time necessitates the making of choices and right now my choice is not making a choice.

there are lots of things that i don't do well in.

1. handling rejections and severely anti-climatic situations
2. dealing with being average
3. not procrastinating
4. dealing with envy and jealousy
5. math

sometimes, i think i'm going mad, just like how Bindy Mackenzie did in The Betrayal of Bindy Mackenzie or Antoinette in Wide Sargasso Sea (but i'm only at part one so i cant see our similarities yet).

but Bindy was poisoned by arsenic and unfortunately i don't have the excuse of that. the only things that are majorly toxic in my life is the fact that i have cca up to 5 days a week and the toxic stench of what smells like burning rubber is my mom's vile herbal brew for her skin.

school sucks majorly ok im sinking like in quicksand. am taking things by the day right now and i really don't see how that is in any way healthy.

付出的从来不会等于收回
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(伤伤伤伤了几回)

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