perhaps the past tense would change, perhaps it would not.
i started disliking the school establishment after my birthday. but im not sure when i stopped loving 2b. duno when, duno how. it was last year. when? im not so sure.
i cant stand being left behind.
its hard to trust people.
there are people like jt. who have lost my trust a few times. but i knw he is trustable. i still trust him.
and there are people who have never gained my trust at all.
arghh its a must to try its hard to try.
when you try to please evrybody, you end up only losing youself. and because of the human peanut butter you try to be. theres too little of you on every corner of the bread. and when people eat the bread, they dont taste the peanut butter and thus think it doesnt exist in the complex sandwich...
and then. as the time goes by. the chef forgets to put the peanut butter in at all.
it doesnt exist anymore.
theres nothing id not give to be in the studio now. with all my crazy sec2s.
or even not at the studio. at 4c clsrm doing debates training
or even with disco at our construction worker place. just talking.
everything is going wrong now. call me a masochist. its hard to pretend i dont know a thing.
hard to pretend that nothing ever affects me.
i hate being emo. ask the world to stop sucking.
just ask someone. anyone. to be the person. who will listen.
but then i just smile